Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.
Tension Point
"I often feel afraid. And the more I’m aware of my fear, the worse I feel because I know I should 'do better' and 'just have faith'. Which makes me feel like a failing Christian, and so the cycle continues."
Talking Point
The word 'Fear' seems to have been placed in direct opposition to the word ‘Faith’ for such a long time. After all, the phrase ‘do not fear!’ is mentioned a whopping 365 times in the Bible. So it’s easy to think that we shouldn’t be afraid and that God would be displeased if we were. But what if that phrase ‘do not fear’ is actually an invitation and an insight into the nurturing heart of God rather than a berating command?
Let’s just take a little pause here to recognise and honour the important role that fear plays. It is fear that signals us to prepare for danger and to take caution around things that can harm us. It often keeps us safe. Of course, we all have times where we recognise that our fear isn’t actually helping us, but if we can allow our perspective to shift, maybe we can give space for that fear to shift too... just not by force.
Because what if God’s gentle whisper of ‘Do not fear’ is heard as ‘Do not worry, it’s OK, I’m here’ – a gentle parent’s calming tone to a fearful child needing reassurance, rather than ‘stop being scared'?
Truth to Ponder
My 6yr old is terrified of spiders. The whole house knows when she’s spotted one by her scream. But as I calmly undertake the spider-removal process, with her clung to my side, a transformation starts to take place: her fear seems to ease just by being in the presence of someone who’s not scared.
Could it be that God is not asking you to betray your own emotional responses ("Abi don’t be silly, don’t be daft etc"), but instead to notice how he responds in the same situation ("Look Abi, I’m not scared of it – I know it can’t hurt me... its legs are tickly!") and let your nervous system start to receive safety cues from him?
Thinking like this can help us reframe the story of Jesus sleeping in the boat (Matthew 8:23-27) with the terrified disciples in the storm. What if Jesus’ sleep on that terrifying journey was intentional; a way of showing his disciples it’s possible to be peaceful in a dangerous situation. I often say to my daughter when she’s recovering after a meltdown ‘you can borrow my calm.’ I wonder if Jesus was doing the same?
Maybe it’s only when we’re able to view God as that compassionate loving parent, that we can start to see that some of the things we might fear might not actually need that reaction. It’s ironic, isn’t it, that the more we punish ourselves for feeling fear, the further away God can feel and the scarier life is! But that’s not his intention – he wants to walk with us through the storm, to be a constant peaceful presence in our world, to give us his calm.