Faith & Fearing Change

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I’ve always struggled with change and the uncertainty it can bring. But I also know this fear is stopping me from stepping out into new things and plans that God might have for me.”

Talking Point

As I write this, the sun is pouring in through the window. I can smell the warmth in the air. The birds are chirping and I can see some gathering twigs for a nest. Spring is upon us! We are officially in transition. Moving from one season to the next. 

Which brings to mind life transitions: those periods of time where you are moving from one thing to the next. Are you in one right now? Maybe you are about to get married, or you find yourself suddenly alone. Maybe you are helping a child settle into university and navigating an empty nest or maybe you’ve just had a baby and are figuring out a whole new life stage on very little sleep! Maybe you’re buying your first house, or moving house, changing your career, or retiring from one. 

Transition is hard and for many of us (myself included) that change from one thing into the next is rarely cut and dried- usually it’s messy and chaotic. Transition can be exhausting, mentally and emotionally difficult to navigate, and it can make us feel out of control and anxious. We feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, afraid and unsure of ourselves. 

The temptation then, is to resist transition, try to ignore it, or rush through it as quickly as possible and try to regain a sense of control and order.

But nature teaches us that transition is a necessary part of the life cycle. Transition and change are beautiful in the same way that a tree moving from Summer to Autumn, with its mix of colours is beautiful. Nature teaches us that transition is vital for growth and for bearing fruit, it also teaches us that what may look like an ending, is in fact a new beginning.

Truth to Ponder 

If you’re finding yourself in a transitional life stage-a season of change right now, then here are some key things that can help you cope:

1. Embrace the change. Accept that change and transition are a normal part of life’s cycle. Make your peace with the fact that Change is here to stay.

2. Expect to feel uncomfortable. It’s not a sign that you’re not coping, it’s just discomfort. Learn to find comfort on an uncomfortable journey.

3. Set your sights on the outcome. What is on the other side of this transition? New opportunities? New relationships? More time, more purpose? 

4. Take care of yourself along the way. Don’t just get your head down and push through the season of discomfort. Look up every now and then, breathe, take in your surroundings. Learn to identify and express your feelings. 

5. Access your support system. Friends, church community, neighbours, family- don’t be afraid to ask for help. Communicate your need for company, someone to talk to or relax with, whilst you adjust to your new season. 

6. Get closure. One of the most effective ways of setting you up for what’s next is by deliberately letting go of what was. Feel the sad feelings that come with letting go, and allow yourself the luxury of goodbye.

7. Hold on to the One that is Unchanging. The bible tells us that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is the beginning and the end and every season change that leaves us feeling unstable, insecure and without an anchor is best lived with Jesus at the centre of it.  

If you are struggling with a life transition, if you can’t seem to get a grip on yourself, then grip on to Jesus. Hold on to Him and He will be your anchor (Hebrews 6:19). He will help you take the next step, and then the next from whatever season you’re in that is ending, into the next season full of hope and possibility. 

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Self Reflection Blog

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Faith & Disappointment

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I’ve just received news that is absolutely devastating. But when I talk to other Christians about it, I don’t feel comfortable talking about how disappointed I am."

Talking Point 

Let's start with a definition. Disappointment is“the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the defeat of one's hopes or expectations”. And my goodness, doesn’t life have a lot of potential for our hopes and expectations being dashed?! Jobs we don’t get, unwanted bills we do get. Friends and family that let us down and dreams that blow up.

So when disappointment comes knocking, and enters our world uninvited, what do we do? As Christians, are we in danger of being too quick to escape this unwanted feeling?

It might sound like an odd question. After all, no one wants to stay feeling disappointed for longer than necessary. Which is why we can be so quick to say things like: “this door has closed, but it’s ok, God will open another”, both to ourselves and to others. And while there is truth in that, are we risking something by trying to jump over disappointment rather than journeying through it?

In his book 'Management of Disappointment', author Abraham Zaleznik says that two things are required to deal with disappointment in a healthy way: 1) we need to be aware and understand our emotional reactions and 2) we need to face the disappointment directly. Are we doing this if we try and bypass our emotions and declare God's promises, no matter how true they are?

How do we face our disappointment head on and deal with it healthily and faithfully?

Truth to Ponder

Here are some really practical ways (four Gs!) to disable the power of disappointment:

Grieve
Let yourself be sad, process your disappointment in a way that’s helpful to you. Journal it, talk to someone you trust about it. Cry, be selfish and ungrateful and immature without justifying it or apologising for it or trying to tidy it up. Just let what you are disappointed about have its voice. Be it a day or a week, give yourself the time you need to feel it. But, put a timescale on it. Don’t let it linger. Rein it back in and then start bringing some direction to your feelings.

Gratitude
Deliberately bring to mind some things you are grateful for. Friends, family, loved ones, a job, breath in your body, a roof over your head, a sunny day. We all have things to be grateful for. Speak them out, thank God for them. Write a list and stick it on your fridge, on your kettle, in your downstairs toilet, wherever! 

Generosity
Be generous. Make your life about more than you. Give someone a smile for no reason, give to charity, sponsor a friend’s fundraising event, go through your wardrobe and give stuff away to a charity shop. Leave a kind comment on someone’s facebook post, give a compliment to a stranger. Give time to go and help your neighbour clear his garden or collect their wheelie bin. Just doing something, anything, to direct your attention away from yourself is good for you. Disappointment doesn’t thrive in the arena of generosity towards others.

God
If you know God, then make this number one. Start there. Start with pouring out your heart to Him. Let Him bring comfort where it hurts, speak hope where hope seems lost. Worship Him, lift your eyes from the unmet desires and hopes surrounding you to the eternal perspective of the One who holds you, has gone before you and knows the end from the beginning. Your disappointments will disperse like wisps of smoke in the presence of His love, His Goodness and His Mercy. And if you don’t know God, then start there. Get to know Him. Invite Him in. Disappointment doesn’t stand a chance in the presence of the very essence of Hope.

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Faith & Anger

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I try and suppress my anger, because it feels like such an un-Christian emotion. But I feel like I’m about to explode 😡"

Talking Point

Anger. It just feels like such an un-Christian emotion, doesn’t it?! One that we often categorise alongside other behaviours that we consider to be ‘sinful’, or not what God intended. But anger itself isn’t a sin—it’s a natural human emotion. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin.” That means feeling anger isn’t the problem; it’s what we do with it that matters.
 
When handled well, anger can actually help us recognise injustice, set healthy boundaries, and even motivate positive change. But if suppressed and not listened to anger can materialise in unexpected ways. When we don’t allow ourselves to express and process our anger, it can become internalised and cause a lot of damage beneath the surface. It can manifest as self-criticism, bitterness, resentment or self-hatred.
 
But we tend not to think about the internal consequences of suppressed anger. And maybe that is because, somewhere along the line, we’ve come to believe that suppressing it is actually the right thing to do. Anger as an emotion can be incredibly destructive if we let it take over, and many reading this will have been on the receiving end of unhealthy and unresolved anger.

So, how do we balance these things, and handle anger in a way that aligns with our faith?

Truth to Ponder 

It’s important that we are honest about our anger. Pay attention to why this emotion is surfacing for us – what are the underlying values, beliefs or circumstances we’ve held – because understanding what is behind the raw emotion is key to it being a healthy part of our emotional tool box.

Anger is a big issue that often has complex roots. But here are a few ways in which we can help find the right balance between being aware of our anger, but not letting it become destructive:
 
First, pausing before reacting is key. Count to ten, take a deep breath, or step away from the situation. Proverbs 29:11 says, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Giving yourself a moment to process your emotions can prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret. Physical activity—like taking a walk, exercising, or even writing down your thoughts—can also help release that built-up tension in a healthy way. This will help you to not just ‘feel’ the anger, but begin to understand the anger. To unpack the ‘why’ behind anger, you may find it helps you to speak to a counsellor, or study the ‘Keys to Freedom' workbook.
 
Prayer and reflection can play a huge role, too. Bringing your anger to God—whether through prayer, journaling, or simply sitting in silence—allows you to process it with His guidance. Psalm 10 is a great biblical example of how to do this.

Many find that praying for the person who hurt them (even when it’s the last thing they want to do) helps shift their perspective. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing bad behaviour, but it does free you from the burden of resentment. For some hurts though, this is an incredibly difficult thing to consider.
 
At the end of the day, anger is part of being human. So it's ok to feel anger, but it doesn’t have to control us. By recognising our triggers, responding with wisdom, and leaning into our faith, we can learn to express anger in a way that leads to healing rather than harm. Instead of seeing anger as something to be ashamed of, we can use it as an opportunity to grow, set boundaries, and seek God’s peace in the midst of it all.

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If you struggle with forgiving others, here’s a resource tht might help you.

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Faith & Low Self Esteem

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I guess I believe that God loves me. In the way a parent loves a child, no matter what they do. But that doesn’t change how I feel about myself: a failure, a disappointment."

Talking Point

The chances are, if you have signed up to these emails, you believe that God loves us. It’s a message that is central to the Bible and everything Jesus said and did. But believing that and allowing it to increase our sense of self-esteem – how we view ourselves and our sense of worth – can be hard. Both our theology and life experience can complicate things:
 
Theologically we can believe that God loves us and struggle with low self-esteem. After all, it almost feels like a biblical view, right?! We can convince ourselves that our low self-esteem is actually just humility and low self-esteem can lead to whole-hearted appreciation that God loves us despite our failures. For those of us who struggle with a very low sense of self, this idea that God loves us 'despite ourselves' can confirm our worst fears: we ARE a failure and a disappointment, to those around us and to God.
 
And maintaining a healthy self-esteem in the messiness of life is hard! Our sense of self and worth is so easily impacted by circumstances and the people around us. This starts at a very early age in our development, whether through parents, community, peers, teachers, or whoever we engage with in the world. As social creatures we soak in the opinions, comments, nuances of body language and behaviours of other people- whether we realise it (consciously) or not (sub-consciously) and it all builds up a picture within us of who we really are.

There are two truths we need to grapple with here:

1. God thinks you are awesome. The bees’ knees. Beautiful, strong and priceless.

2. Our life experiences often lead us to find it really hard to believe that concept.

Truth to Ponder 

The Bible is full of verses that give us a glimpse into how God sees us, which we can declare over ourselves:

You ARE beautiful (Psalm 139:14), a delight (Psalm 147:11), indestructible (John 6:51) and valuable (Luke 12:24). In fact, we have prepared a list of 301 of these that can become your own personalised declarations. Just visit our Self-Esteem blog here and scroll right down to the bottom.
 
Can God’s word re-shape our thinking and sense of self? Absolutely! Can His Word tear down things we think about ourselves that aren’t true? 100% yes! But to allow those truths to heal and take precedent over our life experiences takes a journey.

It can take a lot to unpick how our life experiences and the opinions of others have shaped our own sense of self. God invites us into this journey, not by slapping us with His Word but by gently encouraging us to explore why we don’t believe it, to notice and to encounter Him as we encounter ourselves. Find out more below.

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Faith & Darkness

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I know I should be a beacon of ‘Hope’, but to be honest, the world just feels so bleak at the moment. I feel overwhelmed with the darkness in the world every time I read the news. And I don’t have the energy to summon up any positivity”

Talking Point 

It feels like we are living in especially dark times. Collectively and individually we seem to be facing threats from all sides. Climate change, cost-of-living, war, famine. Our planet is groaning and people are suffering. Some of these things can feel far away. Some of them are happening on our doorsteps and in our homes.

With world news at our fingertips, we are aware of the scale and level of suffering on a scale no other generation has had to navigate. Against such a bleak backdrop, it can be easy to feel lost and overwhelmed. The darkness can feel terrifying. 

And as Christians we can feel the pressure to radiate positivity, to be the ‘hope’ in a world that feels hopeless. But how on earth are we meant to summon up that kind of positivity when we feel so powerless to change the challenges in our own lives, let alone the problems in the world?!

Our hope comes from two things:
1. Understanding that light penetrates the darkness. Every time.
2. Understanding that our light source comes from a source beyond ourselves.

Truth to Ponder 

Light wins. Every time.
Have you ever stayed somewhere quite remote, away from the ever present glow of street lights and neon signs? When the sun fades, the darkness creates a sea of black, robbing everything of colour and texture. But then you look up! And the sheer quantity and brightness of the stars takes your breath away.

You see, no matter how dark it can get, the smallest of light can penetrate it. We often talk about the ‘battle between light and dark’. But it's an unfair contest. Light wins every time.

Another light source
‘That may be good and well,’ I hear you say, ‘but when I’m going through a dark time, summoning ‘light’ is so much easier said than done’. And you’d be right. In the face of some darknesses, trying to summon up positivity from within is just too impossible a task. Which is why we need to draw upon a different light source.

“In John 8 Jesus tells us “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” ”

Following Jesus means you have a light that shines in and through you – a light that cannot be stifled by dark times and difficult circumstances because it isn’t your light, it’s His.

So look up. As hard as it is, take your eyes off everything that is weighing you down, trying to scare you, confuse you, make you feel like you can’t see the way ahead. Look to the One who set the stars in the night sky, the One who is called the bright Morning Star, the eternal light bringing hope and healing.

Easier said than done?

We know this can be easier said than done. Believe us. We have journeyed with people travelling through unimaginable darkness and distress. So if it’s a truth you are struggling to grab hold of, reach out to someone who can help as this can be hard to do by yourself sometimes.

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Faith & The Weather

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I know God should be my source of strength and stability, but my sense of wellbeing feels as temperamental as Autumn weather!"

Talking Point

My family and I recently spent a glorious couple of weeks on the Norfolk coast. The weather did not disappoint: apart from one drizzly day, the majority of our time was spent on the beach, hunting for sea glass, eating chips and giving in all too easily to the constant requests for ice-cream. 

Now, I know true happiness is not found in something as fleeting as a sunny day and yet, with that warm glow on my face, the gentle breeze and the sound of kids having fun with the simple pleasures in life, I must admit to feeling… well… happy.

But those memories are fading faster than the leaves can fall from the trees. Gentle breezes are replaced with bitter autumnal winds; simple pleasures have given way to the busyness of life. It’s easy to find ourselves reminiscing about the sunshine, and those simpler days where joy seemed so much easier to grasp hold off.

It’s at times like this where we realise how easy – but unstable – it is to build an internal sense of happiness on external factors.

A good job, a significant other, a sunny day.  Whilst these factors are all indeed ‘happiness’ inducing, they can never become the basis on which we build our lives. They are all changeable, like the weather.

We have to come to a place in ourselves, where our internal weather system is set, not by what is happening (and ever-changing) on the outside but by what we have cultivated on the inside.  We must find an anchor for our soul - a sense of security, identity and purpose that has its foundations firmly rooted in an unchangeable truth.

Truth to Ponder

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

— Philippians 4:12-13

The ‘him’ Paul refers to is Jesus. He is the constant, He is the Son and so He shines whatever the weather of your life. This doesn’t mean that when it rains in life, we have some magic ability to stay dry and not be affected. No – what it means is He gives us His umbrella and so whilst we may be facing the same conditions as everyone around us, our internal weather system is set on Him and our warmth comes from the inside out. We stay dry when we make use of what God has made available for us to use in the event of a storm; peace that isn’t dependant on circumstances, joy that becomes our strength, love that casts out all fear…

Life is unpredictable, people are fallible, things are breakable. But in Him and with Him you can find that a sunny disposition comes from a deep internal sense of being chosen, loved and living on this earth with a purpose to fulfil.

No matter what the weather is doing- you always take that truth with you so it becomes your steadfast anchor in a life that is as changeable as the weather.

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Faith & Tough Feelings

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"When I feel depressed, angry or sad, God feels distant. I would be so much closer to God if my feelings didn’t get in the way."

Talking Point

As followers of Jesus, when we feel low, depressed, or despondent, we don’t exactly believe we are at the top of our faith game do we?! The more we experience those tough feelings, the more distance creeps in between us and God.  It can sometimes seem like we would be better Christians if we just remained joyful always (whilst ignoring feelings on the inside). 

It’s helpful to recognise that feelings haven’t always had a good reputation in the Christian faith. The things people might say (e.g. "Don't be upset, God will work all things out for good!") can come from good intentions, recognising that feelings won’t always lead us to truth. But it can give us the impression that God and feelings don't really mix. 

Aside from that, there are so many reasons why feelings such as anger or sadness (to name a couple), are often unwelcome visitors. Our human experiences can shape how we view God. For example, if we weren’t allowed to show those emotions when we were young, if we were told off for them, or even punished for them, it will likely translate that God isn’t a fan of those emotions either, or of us when we feel them. 

Truth to Ponder

But what if faith and feelings were created by God to co-exist? The human and the holy? God himself consistently endorses and displays emotions – the whole spectrum of them. 

What if in those moments where God seems so far away, we were able to cling on to the truth that God is with us and that He is not angry, ashamed or disappointed in us for having those human emotions? What if, instead, He is actually most present, most kind, most willing for you to share those tough feelings with him, as he gently holds them like precious jewels in his hands.

The Bible tells us that ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit’ (Psalm 34:18)

Could we possibly allow ourselves to imagine or believe that in those tough moments, our God might be sitting directly in front of us, with empathy written on his face and hands outstretched to offer comfort and reassurance that he is not going anywhere and that we are loved through it all.

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There’s so much more to unpack with this topic. If you’re interested in learning more about Christian Mental Health - visit our library.

Faith & Authenticity

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I want to live an authentic life – free to be me – but I often think I have to put on a brave face. I don’t see it as faking it necessarily, but showing people how good God is and being positive.  I might be hurting or angry inside, but I want to push through and be faithful. "

Talking Point

It's so easy to build up an idea of a ‘good Christian’, especially when others rely on us. We are committed to sharing our faith with others by living a life that leads by example; one of faith, showing who God is. But let's be honest, for some of us that can feel like it comes with a heavy weight of expectation. 

Do we really feel able to show our weaknesses, struggles and failures as well as our answered prayers and hilltop moments – because surely those moments are the epitome of knowing Christ?

But what if those times of authenticity and realness are actually what God desires most for us – both for us to live freely and for us to be able to relate to him totally honestly?

Truth to Ponder

When we’re busy being who we think God wants us to be, we forget what Jesus values the most – for us to be like little children (Matt 18:3). The beauty of children is that they rarely have a filter. My youngest daughter is very comfortable asking Jesus questions about his preference of pet, whether he was ever bald (that one gets asked a lot), or if he plays the ukulele. 

A glimpse of the Psalms can be mind blowing when we realise what David was actually comfortable saying to God (examples taken from The Message version):

• “I'm feeling terrible. I couldn’t feel worse”

• "Punch those bullies in the nose!”

• “You've ignored me for long enough”

• “You walked off and left us – how could you do that?”

• “God treat me nice for a change”

• “Because of you I look like an idiot”

• “You won't embarrass me will you?”

Maybe it’s time to become aware of beliefs you may have about what a ‘good disciple’ looks like and bring them honestly to God, expectant that he is very comfortable with our questions and doubts, and loves to help us wrestle through them. 

David also shares in the Psalms why he is so open with God:

“God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes”

— Psalm 18:24

What might it feel like to be totally yourself, alongside the knowledge that there’s nothing you can do to make you more pleasing and wonderful to him? That the living God dwells in you, desiring to continue the process of sanctifying you himself and therefore you can not fail?

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Faith & Burnout

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I’m burnt out, but I’m a church leader and feel like I’m meant to be the strong one. I know I should reach out, I just really don’t want to be a burden.”

Talking Point

There are so many reasons we don’t reach out for help, but one of the most recurring things we hear is “I don’t want to be a burden”. Often this reason is coupled with another inner narrative: we believe we are meant to be the strong one. The person other people rely on. The carrier of burdens, not the giver of them.

This is a noble notion, but here is the harsh truth: it’s misguided, misinformed and (I hope this doesn’t sound too dramatic) dangerous. It is a short-cut to burnout and breakdown.

Put your own oxygen mask on first.

When was the last time you were on a plane?! Before every flight, you will hear this very important piece of safety advice: put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. Doesn’t sound particularly heroic, does it?! Surely we are meant to jump to the aid of those struggling, whatever the cost?!

But it’s the opposite. The BEST chance you have of helping those around you and ‘not being a burden’ is to make sure your own mask is attached. Without it, you are no help to anyone.

Not taking care of yourself, can mean you begin to experience burnout, stress, fatigue, reduced mental effectiveness, health problems, anxiety, frustration, inability to sleep, and compassion fatigue.  

Are you experiencing some of those symptoms today?

Truth to Ponder

Is it time to put on your own oxygen mask? If you're holding out on seeking support because you are worried about being a burden, you need to take a few moments to think about this: those people you are trying to protect DESERVE to have you at your best! 

Even Jesus needed to practice self-care.

In Mark 6:31 Jesus and the disciples are exhausted, so he suggests they take themselves off to a quiet place to get some rest.

Why? Because we can’t give what we don’t have. So making sure we are stocked up emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually for the demands of the people and circumstances around matters.

Top Tips
Here are a few ways you can take care of yourself today:

1. Stop feeling guilty that you’re taking the time you need to take care of yourself.

2. Stop making yourself so available all the time and learn when to put your phone away, set boundaries.

3. Carve out time to do the things you want to do, not just the things you should, could, must, ought to do.

4. Be deliberate in fuelling your body with healthy food.

5. Exercise more. Your body needs to be fit for purpose and the endorphins will make you feel better.

6. Learn to process. Journal, sing or chat things through with someone you trust.

7. Pray. Connect with God, the source of strength, hope, joy, peace and energy that is never ending, always available and divinely effective. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus urges us to 'learn from me, my yoke is easy and burden is light.'

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Faith & When Forgiveness Feels Unfair.

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point
"I get that we should forgive, but it just feels unfair. What happened was wrong and they just don’t deserve my forgiveness. Besides, am I just supposed to forget it all ever happened?”

Talking Point 

Let's be honest, forgiveness is hard. It is so fraught with complexities and requires us to face our hurt and pain head on. And this is precisely why choosing to forgive can feel so unfair. The hurt and pain is our proof that what happened felt wrong. 
 
Often the thought in the back of our mind is ‘Forgive? Why should I?’ Yet we also seem to recognise, deep down, that it's the right thing to do. After all forgiveness is mentioned 40 times in the New Testament alone. And it really is good for you: studies have shown that practicing forgiveness decreases anger, anxiety, and depression and increases self-esteem and hopefulness for the future.
 
The tension points in forgiveness are often related to myths – misconceptions in our beliefs or understanding of forgiveness. Although acknowledging these and reading the biblical truths won’t necessarily make the path a smooth one, it can help us journey towards choosing to forgive.

MYTH: To forgive means to forget

The premise of this myth is that forgiveness means that we simply pretend or deny that something ever happened, but this is not the case. To forgive means to go through a process of fully acknowledging the impact of what happened. Part of this process is inviting Father God/Jesus/Holy Spirit to share His perspective and how He desires to heal you and exchange the current thoughts and feelings with His own Truths and promises – these are the things that can be remembered instead.

MYTH: I can only forgive if the offender deserves forgiveness or apologises.

This myth assumes that forgiveness is something that needs to be earned. This is not true. It may validate our pain to hear someone say sorry or work hard to earn back trust, but this should never be a condition for your forgiveness – this positions ourselves as the judge. Releasing forgiveness, whether the offender deserves it or not, positions God as the judge over the offender and the healer of our hurt.

MYTH: I will be ready to forgive when I feel the hurt has passed.

The premise of this myth assumes that forgiveness itself is a feeling. After all, it’s not uncommon to hear the phrase ‘to be in a forgiving mood'. But forgiveness is not a feeling, it is an action. Because of this we can release forgiveness, despite how we feel, as an act of our own will in a determined effort to pursue our own healing. It won’t always feel fair and it won’t feel easy – but it is right and it is good.

Truth to Ponder 

Choosing to forgive is one of the most powerful keys to unlocking healing because it not only unlocks us from any beliefs that formed as a result of our hurt, but it is also a key to deepening our relationship with God from whom we can receive lasting healing from the hurt.

““And whenever you stand praying, if you find that you carry something in your heart against another person, release him and forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also release you and forgive you of your faults.””

— (Mark 11:25, TPT)

Here is a question you could ask:

“Father God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, will you show me how any of these myths have hindered my forgiveness?”

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Faith & Trusting God (when I have trust issues)

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point 

“I’m so tired of the Christian response to just ‘trust’ God. It’s not that easy! I don’t know how to trust – for me, trust has always led to feeling disappointed, or worse.”

Talking Point

Think about all the other relationships in your life. How many people do you trust implicitly? And what have you been through to get to that level of trust? When you think about it like that, choosing to trust God, a God that we can’t necessarily see or touch or have coffee with, can feel like a dangerous tightrope at times. Yes, we know He is good but trusting God can’t just be something we say. Trust always means putting skin in the game.
 
When we ask ‘Can I trust God?’ we are actually asking two questions. First: Is God trustworthy? Of course, as Christians, we know He is—this is an absolute Truth. But the second question is where it gets personal: Can I can trust God? As in, do I have what it takes to believe this absolute Truth?

Acknowledging what we bring to the relationship

In all of our other relationships, trust requires something from us. So why do we treat our relationship with God any differently? We can sometimes expect intimacy to come from religious devotion… as if just acknowledging that He is God is enough for us to throw ourselves into trusting Him as if we have never been hurt or let down before. But just like any other relationship, we still bring our relational baggage, our trust issues, our defence mechanisms and our fears of intimacy to it.
 
Think about the 'Trust Fall' exercise: that awkward exercise where one person falls blindly into the arms of another, relying on the integrity, strength and ability of that person to catch them. Even if you know the person waiting behind you, it can feel uncomfortable. This discomfort is a reflection of the internal vows and misconceptions about trust and the risk of getting hurt, looking stupid, being judged, or being betrayed.

The sad reality is that even if we are entirely safe with the person ready to catch us, these internal vows and misconceptions can make us feel like we are being sprung back, like being tied to an elastic cord, to those times we trusted someone and were let down, made to look foolish, misrepresented, abandoned, (insert your experience here!)

So, we hold something back to protect ourselves: a ‘prudent mistrust’, just in case. But this limits us. 

Truth to Ponder 

Getting to know God is the foundation of trusting Him. The simple truth is that without getting to know Him, our ability to trust Him is limited. But we also need to get to know ourselves so that we can identify the cords that hold us back from trusting God more freely.

Ready to go on that journey?! It can be hard, but trust us (pun intended), it's worth it...

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Faith & The Voice (of God) in My Head (or not)

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I'm not sure I have ever heard the voice of God in the way others seem to. I cry out in prayer and wait… but He feels so silent"

Talking Point

Have you ever cried out in prayer and waited, desperately, for that ‘voice of God’ that other Christians seem to talk about? We strain our ears hoping to hear words that will bring us peace, reassurance, direction, comfort, answers… And when we are met with silence, we can feel let down, abandoned and disillusioned.

But, does ‘hearing’ actually mean ‘hearing’?

Think about it, when you recall a number such as a phone number, how do you do it? Do you ‘hear’ the number in your head or the corresponding sound of the beeps? Or, instead, do you see the numbers, recall how you wrote them down, or remember the pattern your fingers make as you enter them?

We all receive, recall and process information differently…

Which means we learn and understand according to these different styles. The danger and resulting tension of only talking about ‘hearing’ God can be that we limit the way we might connect with Him. It’s the equivalent of only ever communicating by talking - imagine no written word; no sign language; no poetry; no art; no music; no dance.

Recognising how God might connect with us through our natural senses, is a good start in sharpening our sensitivity to Him and strengthening our confidence in receiving from Him. We can all grow in the gift of seeing, hearing and feeling God’s presence through practice, in the same way that spending time with someone makes it easier to recognise them in ways that are unique to your relationship with them.

Truth to Ponder 

The Truth is that God is everywhere, communicating to us through our senses, through His Word, through creation. These are the ways in which we may receive from God through our senses:

We May See Him
We may recognise Him speaking to us through our imagination, through visions and dreams or through supernatural encounters with Him, as if with our natural eyes. The Word of God documents many times where God engages with us this way.
(Acts 2:17) 

We May Hear Him
We may recognise Him speaking to us through a song, through sound or through a spirit to spirit conversation with Him, or we may even hear the audible sound of His Voice. 
(John 10:27)

We may FEEL Him
We may sense a shift in the atmosphere, or even in our own body, as a feeling of peace or warmth. We may also feel Him through a strong sense of conviction or a sense of ‘knowing’ which again, brings peace and directs our steps.
(Thessalonians 3:5)

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The Big Christian Mental Health Campaign

We want to do our part to help break the taboo, remove the stigma, and normalise Christ-centered mental health and wellbeing support.

Faith & Mindfulness

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I hear about the benefits of mindfulness to my mental health but as a Christian, I don’t want practices of good mental health to replace practices of my faith, such as prayer. How can I be sure mindfulness is okay for me and won’t lead me down the wrong path?”

Talking Point

The practice of mindfulness has gained considerable attention as a technique for managing stress and enhancing mental wellbeing. But what exactly is mindfulness, and how does it align with our Christian faith?

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness, in its essence, involves deliberately focusing one's attention on the present moment, free from the distractions of incessant thoughts that often clutter the mind. Mindfulness entails quietening the mental "noise" to become more self-aware and attuned to the present moment's thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It can be part of our everyday activities or a discipline of intentionally setting time and space aside, like meditation or contemplative prayer.

Horizontal vs Vertical

Mindfulness, without Jesus at the centre, inevitably puts the self at the centre. When this happens, mindfulness becomes a self-centred, horizontal practice; connecting to our needs or emotions in the context of our immediate environment or circumstance. 

As Christians, we may be sceptical about mindfulness because of this, but when integrated with biblical principles, mindfulness can become a transformative practice that deepens our awareness of God and our relationship with Him. When we are mindful of God in the present moment and we acknowledge and welcome His presence, His peace and His voice, our mindfulness becomes vertical - connecting to our needs and emotions in the context of our relationship with God.

Truth to Ponder

So, how can we practise Christian mindfulness in a way that aligns with our faith? Here are some practical tips:

• Start with prayer: Begin each mindfulness practice with prayer, inviting God's presence into the moment. Ask for His guidance in focusing your thoughts and opening your heart to His Presence.

• Ground yourself in Scripture: Incorporate passages of Scripture into your mindfulness practice. Choose verses that resonate with you and reflect on their meaning.

• Focus on gratitude: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by reflecting on God's blessings in your life. Take time to acknowledge and give thanks for the gifts, both big and small, that God has provided.

• Practice breath awareness: Use your breath as an anchor to the present moment. Take slow, deep breaths.

• Embrace silence: In a world filled with noise and distractions, make space for silence in your life. Set aside time each day to retreat into solitude and silence, allowing yourself to quiet your mind and listen for God's voice.

• Stay present in daily activities: Practise mindfulness in everyday tasks by bringing your full attention to each moment. Whether you're eating, walking, or spending time with loved ones, be fully present and engaged in the experience.

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The Big Christian Mental Health Campaign

We want to do our part to help break the taboo, remove the stigma, and normalise Christ-centered mental health and wellbeing support.

Faith & Asking For Help

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

“I struggle to reach out for help. I feel like I SHOULD be able to cope on my own if I have Jesus. He’s all I need. Right?! But the truth is I’m floundering.”

Talking Point

I (Bryn, hello!) was once on holiday with twin nine month old babies. We went down to the buffet restaurant for dinner. We had three other children as well, so my wife queued up with them while I took the twins to find a table.

High chairs were scarce, but I eventually spotted two in the corner. I rushed over and attempted to carry them, as well as the twins, back to our table. So with both twins under one arm, and both highchairs in the other, I huffed and puffed my way towards the table.

Someone immediately jumped up and offered to help. But I smiled and said ‘no, I’m fine’ and struggled on. People gasped. It didn’t look safe and probably wasn’t! At one point I almost dropped them. Eventually one of the staff came over and insisted: ‘no no, let me help’. When he took the highchairs out of my hand, I was immediately relieved.

So what stopped me saying yes the first time?! Pride? A determination to show the world (or maybe myself) I could handle this on my own? I pondered this for the rest of my holiday, with a twinge of embarrassment as to why I attempted to persevere when it was so obvious I needed help.

Have you been struggling in the shadows?

There are times in our lives where we do the very same thing. We lift, and heave and try because we think we are navigating these challenges alone. We believe that the weight we are lifting is our burden to carry (or maybe ours and God's) and we don't want to bother anyone else with them. So, for multiple reasons, we feel too ashamed, embarrassed, prideful or mistrusting to reach out or accept help when it's offered.

What about you, have you been struggling in the shadows? What's stopping you from accepting (or asking for) help?

Truth to Ponder

In Ephesians 6 in The Message version of the bible it says this:

“Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

God didn’t design us to carry our burdens alone.

God has given us tools and weapons to help whatever battles we are fighting, and sometimes those tools and weapons are the people around us: the people God has put in our path to journey with us.

Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need." If God has put friends in your path, He's put them there for times such as this.

Faith & Fear

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I often feel afraid. And the more I’m aware of my fear, the worse I feel because I know I should 'do better' and 'just have faith'. Which makes me feel like a failing Christian, and so the cycle continues."

Talking Point

The word 'Fear' seems to have been placed in direct opposition to the word ‘Faith’ for such a long time. After all, the phrase ‘do not fear!’ is mentioned a whopping 365 times in the Bible. So it’s easy to think that we shouldn’t be afraid and that God would be displeased if we were. But what if that phrase ‘do not fear’ is actually an invitation and an insight into the nurturing heart of God rather than a berating command?

Let’s just take a little pause here to recognise and honour the important role that fear plays. It is fear that signals us to prepare for danger and to take caution around things that can harm us. It often keeps us safe. Of course, we all have times where we recognise that our fear isn’t actually helping us, but if we can allow our perspective to shift, maybe we can give space for that fear to shift too... just not by force. 

Because what if God’s gentle whisper of ‘Do not fear’ is heard as ‘Do not worry, it’s OK, I’m here’ – a gentle parent’s calming tone to a fearful child needing reassurance, rather than ‘stop being scared'?

Truth to Ponder

My 6yr old is terrified of spiders. The whole house knows when she’s spotted one by her scream. But as I calmly undertake the spider-removal process, with her clung to my side, a transformation starts to take place: her fear seems to ease just by being in the presence of someone who’s not scared.

Could it be that God is not asking you to betray your own emotional responses ("Abi don’t be silly, don’t be daft etc"), but instead to notice how he responds in the same situation ("Look Abi, I’m not scared of it – I know it can’t hurt me... its legs are tickly!") and let your nervous system start to receive safety cues from him?

Thinking like this can help us reframe the story of Jesus sleeping in the boat (Matthew 8:23-27) with the terrified disciples in the storm. What if Jesus’ sleep on that terrifying journey was intentional; a way of showing his disciples it’s possible to be peaceful in a dangerous situation. I often say to my daughter when she’s recovering after a meltdown ‘you can borrow my calm.’ I wonder if Jesus was doing the same?

Maybe it’s only when we’re able to view God as that compassionate loving parent, that we can start to see that some of the things we might fear might not actually need that reaction. It’s ironic, isn’t it, that the more we punish ourselves for feeling fear, the further away God can feel and the scarier life is! But that’s not his intention – he wants to walk with us through the storm, to be a constant peaceful presence in our world, to give us his calm.

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Faith & the Wilderness

Helping you navigate the tension between faith & mental health by looking at a tension point, a talking point and a truth to ponder.

Tension Point

"I feel like I’ve been out in the wilderness when it comes to faith for so long. I wonder if it will ever change?"

Talking Point

Have you ever felt ‘lost in the wilderness’ when it comes to your faith? Do you have a sense of wandering, lostness, a lack of direction or feeling like you aren’t in the place you thought you’d be on your faith journey?

Often, when life is going well and we feel good, we can sense that God is close and our relationship with him is in a good place. But when life is tough, we can feel as if God isn’t as close or that our relationship with him isn’t quite as healthy as we thought it was. 

We may be deeply grieving or coming face-to-face with past trauma. We might have felt on the outskirts of church community or been re-assessing some of our core beliefs. Or maybe we’ve always experienced that wilderness sensation ever since deciding to follow Jesus. Whatever the reason, it can feel lonely, particularly if we can reference times in the past when we have experienced being ‘close’ to God, enjoying fellowship with other believers. 

We often link faith with a sense of being found, known, held, seen and in the right place. But when life gets heavy or we’re hurting, there follows a sense of not being as close to God as the doubts, waves of anger and mistrust seep in. This can feel so disconcerting.

Truth to Ponder

Isn’t it interesting that much of Jesus’ teaching to the people he loves focuses on those who are lost, scattered or hiding? The lost sheep (Luke 15) already belonged to him – it was part of his fold – and yet the sheep still got lost in the wilderness. 

Of course, we refer to being ‘lost’ as not having yet found Jesus, but maybe feeling lost can also embrace the everyday, the highs and lows and daily grind. Jesus says ‘It’s not the healthy that need a doctor but the sick’ (Mark 2:17) And yes, this is in relation to the sickness of sin… but let’s not forget that he was also talking to people who had been cast down socially and spiritually. 

Being ‘lost’ is the acknowledgement that we cannot navigate this life alone, the very need we have to belong to God is the essence of faith. We don’t just need to be ‘found’ once at the beginning of our salvation story, but throughout our lives, in moments of feeling misunderstood, hurting or hiding. Whenever we are ‘lost’ God is right there. He offers us his kindness and compassionate care to re-centre us and meet with us.

Next Steps...? 

Notice what you are experiencing and ask yourself- do I know why I feel distant and lost? Awareness can be the first step in acknowledging what is happening and what you want to be different. 

Why not talk to someone you can trust about what you are experiencing, either a friend or a counsellor or therapist who can help you make sense of your experience in a non-judgemental space. 

Can you show yourself compassion as you daily acknowledge your lostness, and allow yourself to imagine being found by God with kindness and care? (Notice if you find this concept of a gentle God foreign, you may want to address this in further depth, perhaps with a counsellor).

Sometimes this experience can derive from the belief deep inside that God either doesn’t want us close, or will reject us, so we feel safer in the wilderness. These beliefs are valid and it can take some time to unpack the hold they have over us. Exploring this with a professional or one of our facilitators on the Freedom Course can be beneficial.